May 29 2011 at 01:00am
By Sheree Bega

 Erin is among the few fortunate children in South Africa who have found a “forever family”. The need for a safe, permanent home runs deep, and everywhere, with between 1.5 million and 2 million children who could benefit from adoption. But only about 2 400 people adopt children every year and even that low figure is on the decline.

Now an ambitious new campaign hopes to turn this bleak outlook for South Africa’s abandoned and orphaned children around.

Next week, as part of Child Protection Week, the National Adoption Coalition is launching its Addoption project to raise awareness about the plight of the country’s “adoptable” children and encourage more people to open their hearts – and homes – to children. The coalition spans the Department of Social Development, NGOs and social workers in private practice who aim to crush the “great mistrust” around adoption and overcome the cultural barriers that exist. It has now set up a website and call centre.

The coalition says South Africans are in a state of “shock and denial” about the crisis facing its children. “The low prevalence of marriage in South Africa, and the resulting vulnerability of single mothers, the weakening of the traditional extended family, and the impact of poverty and HIV/Aids, contribute to increasing the number of abandoned babies,” it says.

The preference for foster care, a temporary measure, over adoption is also placing a huge strain on the system with nearly 40 percent of adoptable children in foster care – giving them no sense of belonging to a family, or long-term stability.

Adoption has proven to be the best solution, globally, for children outside the family.

Megan Briede, of Child Welfare SA, says until now, South Africa has not had a strong culture of legal adoption.

“We had a strong sense of community before where a family member took on a relative’s child and cared for them.

“Now with more social problems, there are more and more children needing adoptive families who don’t have any family link at all.

“We’re saying we have to look out of our family, out of our own smaller community circle and into the larger South Africa, to the needs of all children – those children whose parents I don’t know.”

At the Orlando Children’s Home in Soweto, director Mirriam Mazibuko, 62, strives to capture that spirit of ubuntu every day.

Most of the children here do find permanent homes, but there are those who never do.

“You and I know that group care is not ideal. We want our children to go out to these facilities and form one-on-one relationships with caring families.

“When the children arrive they are malnourished and in poor health. We need to do so much to be able to make them attractive for adoption.

“But the more challenges we have, the more people come to help us to make a difference for our children. If we fail, what will become of our country and our society?”

It’s a constant battle to find adoptive homes for children classified as having special needs – those who are HIV-positive or suffer from other chronic conditions, siblings, older children or children with disabilities. Children over six are “skating on thin ice”, she says.

“We also find most girls get adopted, but only about 45 percent of our boys. There is a fear that boys will act out later in life.”

Sometimes, even after the careful screening of prospective parents, children fall through the cracks.

“They are abused or neglected. We speak of this as second abandonment. People need to know when you take a baby, you’ll have sleepless nights and you’ll experience the heartache of a teenager.”

But most adoptive parents, she smiles, return to her, boasting about the wonderful children they have gained.

Local actress Bonnie Henna recounts first setting eyes on her adopted child, Haniel, as a “mystical experience”. She had spent years volunteering at Baby Haven, when she saw a photograph of a new baby who had come into the centre’s care.

Henna and her husband, Sisanda, immediately recognised Haniel as their child.

“We just knew it was him. It’s weird. You think you’ll go for the cutest baby, but it doesn’t happen like that. It’s like there is something about this person’s destiny that is linked to mine.”

Haniel, now eight months, and her biological son, Micaiah, who is 19 months old, are “thick as thieves”.

Haniel’s biological mother abandoned him at hospital.

“It has been so worth it to adopt a child and I don’t think Haniel is the last.”

Henna speaks of the cultural stigma attached to adoption.

“In my culture, if a child is not from your family line, then people have a negative idea around it.”

Pam Wilson, the head of adoptions at Joburg Child Welfare, says these barriers are being gradually overcome.

“Most of the children in the system are black so placing them in the same cultural group is a priority, but there is stigma. More black families are coming forward but it doesn't keep up with the number of children in need.

“Our biggest problem is with the adoption of HIV-positive children. There is a fear of losing the child, but these children are now treated early on (with ARVs) and can be as healthy as any other child. Instead, they end up remaining in the system for a long time.”

The campaign, she says, also seeks to break down myths around adoption and its costs.

“You don’t have to be wealthy and NGOs work on a sliding scale according to income. A couple living in an informal settlement can adopt – if you’ve got the love and will to look after a child, and want to be parents, you can, no matter if you’re a nurse or a domestic worker.”

She deflects criticism about the “red tape” involved. “We’re making a decision for a child. There’s no-one else to do that so we have to make sure it’s in the best interest of the child and get to know a family.

“I don’t think anyone will leave their child with a babysitter they’ve never laid eyes upon.”

Wilson, who has worked in the adoption sector for 30 years, says until now, efforts to publicise adoption have been piecemeal.

“The Addoption campaign is probably the most exciting thing to have ever happened in adoption.

“We’re looking at how we’re going to reach all those people who may have thought about it, but never known where to go, or how to go about it, or even the need for it.

“So many children are waiting for a home, but we never have enough families for them. A lot of children leave the country to go to homes in other countries.”

The campaign is also directed to stem the crisis of abandoned babies and to help mothers in crisis pregnancies opt for foster care or adoption. “We’re saying to these mothers there are people willing to support you.”

Dr Tebogo Mabe, the director of adoptions and international social services at the Department of Social Development, has thrown his weight behind the campaign.

He says it falls in line with the department’s own adoption strategy to raise the numbers of adopted children through targeted campaigns with local communities and churches.

His department has developed an adoption register, which lists 244 adoptable children – for now.

“This is a drop in the ocean in terms of the need. The main objective is to encourage local adoption to keep children here because of their cultural ties and their roots.”

Dee Blackie, a business and brand strategist, took three months off work to help set up the coalition after seeing a picture of a dead baby dumped on a rubbish heap.

“We all need to start talking about our responsibility to the country’s children. We don’t know what the future will look like with between 4 percent and 8 percent of children who don’t have a family, a sense of belonging or a place to call home.”

Laura says it breaks her heart that more people don’t see the wonder of adoption.

“I think people are fearful of the risk involved. But it’s worth the risk; even if trouble comes, you are still saving a life. It’s easy to become a hero, but we don’t want Erin to think we took her on as a charity case. She is our blessing. There’s been no sacrifice. We got a beautiful little daughter out of this.